So it would appear that I have been terrible with this whole blogging thing. I'd like to say that my life has just been too awesome to find the time to write, but this would be a lie. And as a dear friend once told me, lying is ALWAYS out of the question, so I'll just admit that I have been lazy on this front.
As the title to this blog might suggest, I have been dealing with some very interesting feelings as of late. Those of you who know me, know that I find my base, center, and strength through music. This is never more prevalent than when I am feeling like life is trying to crush me. I find myself more and more sinking back into the shell that I used to live in. It feels more safe, more natural, and, quite frankly, for the best. Perhaps all of the things that are plaguing me now are because I took a chance and moved out of my comfort zone. It is called a "comfort" zone for a reason.
The entirety of my life, I have been, more or less, optimistic. That's not to say that I haven't had moments of GLARING weakness, as a few of you may or may not know, and done things that were detrimental to personal and physical growth. However, through all of the bullshit and torture that I've survived, I've always had the outlook that things were going to get better. I'm starting to think that I might have been mislead. What if right now is as good as it's ever going to get? Can I dare to consider that I'm in the position that I'm going to spend the rest of my life? I not exactly young, perhaps I've reached, or worse missed, my potential.
Oh well, if my suspicions are accurate, then I guess I'll have to make sure that my brain never realizes it. I've always had such grandiose plans. It would be terrible to find out that they will always amount to naught, and I'll never achieve them.
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